


Fair Maidens and the Heir

by nightfangfox



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Equius and Dave drop out instantly sorry, Everyone lives in the same house because why not, More like brief mentions, Not really relationships, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Renaissance Festival, Renfest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 22:03:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightfangfox/pseuds/nightfangfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John talks Rose, Jade, Aradia, and Nepeta into going to the Renaissance Festival with him! Try to guess which festival I put them in. Here's a hint: it's in the Midwest.<br/>Told in the second person, where you are Jade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fair Maidens and the Heir

You and your human mostly-non-ectorelatives are sitting in the kitchen one late summer afternoon, and John keeps demanding that you go to the Renaissance Festival. Rose seems to agree and Dave... is Dave and refuses to show emotions. You think it sounds cool! John rants about how great and fun it is and how delicious the turkey legs are. He goes off on a spiel about seeing the King and Queen walk down the streets when Equius walks in with Nepeta hanging off his back. You like Nepeta, she's nice and fun, and sometimes you and Equius and Dirk get together to build robots, so you give the two a friendly wave. Nepeta waves back. Equius reaches for the STRONG-proofed fridge handle when he seems to register what John is saying.

"D-->I thought you humans had a democracy?" he asks as he pulls out a carton of milk. Nepeta takes the carton from him before he could accidentally crush it and pours him a glass.

"Not all human countries are run by democracy," replies Rose. "This festival celebrates a period of time in a country across the sea when Kings and Queens and their courts held most of the power. Of course," she adds, "the Church held more power than them, as usual."

John pipes in, "It's like time travel without all the annoying shenanigans!"

At that Aradia pops in grinning wide, startling all of you (except Dave. Dave doesn't get startled!) You notice Equius begin to sweat hard. "Time travel without the shenanigans sounds nice!" she says.

Somehow, you, John, Rose, Aradia, and Nepeta all decide to go to the Festival. Equius opts out, muttering about how "100dicrus" it was, and Dave decides to stay behind and be lame, saying something about how Medieval England isn't ironic enough for him. You think he's just being boring.

\----

John insisted that you all dress up, but none of you had anything at such short notice, so everyone is in their God pajamas. Your own fluffy ears are free and perking up happily, and the trolls look relieved at not needing skin paint in the day's heat. Nepeta grabs Aradia's and and drags her to the ticket booth, leaving the rest of you to grin and follow. You get the tickets (Thirty bucks a person?! Outrageous!) and go inside the castle gates. You are instantly greeted with noise and smells and movement and for a second you are overwhelmed. John pats your shoulder and smiles at you, and you smile back. Your ectobrother bounds up to Rose and holds her hand, leading her to watch a troupe of Gypsies dance. You and the two trolls follow, hypnotized by the dancers' swaying twirls and flying fabric. They whoop every so often, and you find yourself smiling and clapping along.

This mood of celebration and gaiety seems to follow you everywhere. You consider joining the Barbarian Battles, but decide that with your group's experience that would be completely unfair to the little kids. Near the Barbarian village, Rose and Aradia leave you to explore the Dungeon Museum, so you, John, and Nepeta spend time looking at the animal bone jewelry. You and Nepeta get complimented on your ears and tail, and one curious shopkeeper asks where you got them. You just looked at each other and giggled a bit, and she mentions something vague about a friend and living near wild animals. That seems to satisfy the owner and you play with turtle shell beads until Rose and Aradia rejoin you, both grinning creepily at each other.

At least they're becoming friends, right?

On the way up to the game field, Aradia stops to buy a honeystick for Sollux and John dances with a fairy. You yourself are fascinated by the glassblowers, pausing to watch a stick of glass become a bubble of color. At the field, John and Rose try themselves at archery, and you can all tell that John cheated. Nepeta tries the Strength Machine just for giggles and gets to Lord/Lady. You try it and get Jester. Aradia has a go and hits the bell at the top, gaining the title King/Queen. She gets a little stuffed dragon that the three of you agree should go to Terezi.

Suddenly you hear trumpets, and you turn to find a big parade proceeding down the road. They are headed to big, white arena in the center of the fair, and the seats are filling up fast. On a split decision, your group decides to watch whatever is happening and rush to find enough space on a bench for the five of you. Rose gets the green knight's favor and puts it on his lancetip when he comes around to collect them. He got four- his opponent, the orange knight, got five. They pass some heated bantering and situate themselves on either end of the arena. Then they charge.

The orange knight loses his lance on the first pass. Second pass, the green knight's shield dents. On the third pass, the green lance shatters. After some dramatics, the green knight surprises everyone by jumping off his horse onto the orange horse, knocking the other knight off. John makes a pun about high horses, and you all laugh.

The two knights scuffle a bit, eventually ending in the orange knight's supposed demise, though there were bushes in the way and you were fairly certain that killing people was illegal.

On the way out, you do some shopping on a street with Mermaid in the name, landing yourself some rope sandals and a little wooden charm on a necklace. Aradia and Rose both get corsets and bottles of scented oil, and Nepeta manages to find herself at a henna station, getting a tattoo of her symbol and Equius's symbol on her shoulder, and a smaller, more hidden one with her own and Karkat's symbols on the back of her neck. She also nabs a feather sword. You all meet up at a food booth.

Fresh, hot turkey legs in hand, the five of you leave the Festival, tired and ready to brag to your friends at home.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY IT'S 11 AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GO TO THE FESTIVAL AND THIS WAS BAD AND LAME AND STUPID
> 
> And I fixed some inconsistencies


End file.
